box-mon1How much money is wasted on employees today due to unscheduled breaks, be it stopping to use the toilet facilities, sending a text message, or just deliberately avoiding work. How great would it be if you knew precisely time worked by a employee to then calculate a fair wage? Well now you can!

A very discreet box sits on the employees head, monitoring brainwaves. Once stimulation is detected in the brain, a signal is sent to a receiver. This then alerts management that the brain of the employee must be stimulated, thus employee must not be working productively.

Stimulation in the brain can occur when the person in question is stimulated mentally i.e. on Facebook, on the toilet, reading, or engaged in conversation. Only when the brainwaves are dormant must the employee actually be working.

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As random as a pink elephant eating a banana peel in a pool of spatulas! It’s not a crime fighting elephant, nor is it very good at Call of Duty. But the elephant is random, so random in fact; it’s not an elephant at all. But a huge spaceship with long legs that eats dried apricots and Lego bricks. It has developed a means of selling Wi-Fi on the black-market to Garden Gnomes who plan to take over Facebook! Seriously it is all rather disconcerting. Even now! There’s a Gnome in my garden, urinating!